It’s a popularly known fact that people need people. Creating relationships is a primary trait and no matter how worst it can be for you, even as an introvert, you are going to form at least one relationship in your lifetime. You cannot be completely cut yourself from the world. There’d be some days when all we just want is to be able to do is just think about some things, but you will sooner or later have to come out and want to talk about those things you have been thinking about to someone. Now, as you can see that a relationship is a very fragile thing. It doesn’t matter if you both are just friends or are dating, there are some things you shouldn’t say to them if you don’t want a fight.
1. “You know I love you so much, right? But…”
Why on earth would you love someone with a BUT?, you are definitely attaching a condition to the love. Frankly, if you don’t agree to something, you don’t have to start a statement in a way that might make me feel sad later on.
It’s so awesome at first but at the end it goes buff! With a “but” attached then it goes down the ground but it is also okay hearing the sincere statement of the other person involved. More also, hearing the two parts at the same time in a sentence might just not be good enough to say.
When you want to say no, don’t make it somehow in a diplomatic way. Just make it clear even when it’s for the betterment of a person, don’t make it in a way that you are fine with the sentence, be blank and mean it.
2. “They were not that good for you in the first place”
When one of your friends or someone breaks up their relationship and you are trying to console them or give a word of comfort to them, don’t even try to paint another person black because of the waterloo of the relationship. Even if what you are saying is the truth, it shouldn’t be said by you.
Irrespective of your perspective on their relationship; honorable or otherwise, they held their partner in a high regard since they formed a nice and romantic relationship with that person. You don’t really have the whole story because I’m pretty sure there are lots of unsaid about the relationship. Whatever the case might be, just focus on the future with your words with them or give them advise on how to make it work. That you are not contented with someone doesn’t mean your friend is not.
3. “That’s definitely not a job for me”
It’s not a lie, because you are right!
Even if you don’t want to do something for someone, do not sound offensive. It can be said in a very nice way to avoid fights. You can easily frame tiredness as well and it’s going to be cool by them or followed by a “please”.But, you need to know that you will also need help sooner or later, maybe you should just help because it’s the best thing to do. As for me, I find so much joy in helping friends and people.
4. Mentioning something from the past like “Do remember that?”
What’s the point in bringing up the past to the present? The last time I remember, the only time people use this statement is to remind you of an embarrassing moment or to make you remember the help that was rendered to you by them and it’s quite annoying.
It will be like, “so? Do you want me to appreciate again or what?” most scenarios you hear something like that is when you refuse to help them and it’s cocky somehow. You don’t have to bring it up, it doesn’t make you a good friend or partner whatsoever your relationship is.
5. Thanks, I will just check with…
You are directly saying I’m not in any way good enough, so what’s the point checking on for me in the first place? It’s better you don’t say it to my face, it can be wise of you to do it behind me. Don’t be ridiculous, I do have feelings too.
6. “Hi, you actually look nice”
The sentence is not valid in all.
Maybe you are just saying about the present and they don’t use to look nice. It’s as simple as that. Often unknowingly, you might end up saying this to someone. It can be so painful when you hear it from someone you are close to or someone you are in a relationship with. This statement can be so deadly if it’s been said by our partners, it’s painted as if you have been managing this person and not contented with them in the first place. You might not even mean it or even notice that you have altered it but all the same, it remains in the other person’s mind and it might lead to insecurity. At times, you just keep quiet and l leave some things unsaid than saying them and destroy a lot of things. Do not forget that words can create and destroy in a second.