There are simple mistakes that a person makes in a relationship that could lead to depression, heartbreak, anger, sadness, hatred, and so on. In relationships you can’t be too careful, as your intentions maybe something totally different from what your partner sees.
We often make mistakes that will end up making us suffer and sometimes our partners may not be aware. Remember, love is like gambling, you either lose or you win. When you lose it takes long to recover, and if you win, you would be totally Happy You can always be caught unaware when it comes to love. Some of the mistakes we make in relationships
1. HIGH EXPECTATIONS
There’s nothing wrong if you show your partner a high amount of love and care, you may even give your time, money, property, and other things just to make sure the relationship works. But the twist comes when your partner is not matching the percentage of the amount of sacrifice you put in the relationship, thereby cutting short your expectations. yes it is good to do good and show love to your partner, but do it without high expectations, when your expectations are high on what your partner has for you and then it turns out to be null, it could really hurt. For example, on Valentine’s Day last year you gave your partner a new iPhone because he/she clearly needed one. It would be a little too much if you expect to receive a laptop on this year’s Valentine’s Day because you are in need of one.
What if things turn out to be hard for your partner? Are you ready to play the understanding lover? You may be expecting an everyday call from your partner when he defaults you feel as if he does not love you or maybe had someone else. Yeah, I have been there. Why not ask him/her why, or make out time to talk about it, instead of just concluding. Highly expectations in relationships lead to high devastation.
2. STALKING YOUR PARTNER’S EX OR GLANCING AT THEIR PRIVATE CHATS
Some people believe that they can get a sort of assurance that their partner is not cheating by glancing at their messages from time to time or stalking their ex-lover on social media. But that is a not so good idea because you may end up seeing nothing and then you get more anxious, or you may stumble upon an old picture or message that has lost its relevance, and may hurt you. Meanwhile your partner has no idea of what is going on, this could really lead to depression and the feelings that you may not be good enough.
3. NURSING THIS FEELING THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WILL SURELY LAST FOR EVER
Gautama Buddha said “Nothing can last forever, the belief that things can last is a Chief cause of suffering “. One thing I declare to my self while I’m in a relationship is that, there may be an expiration date! I used “may” to make sure it does not sound like I’m stating it as a fact, as it may or may not last. I have seen many relationships start and end too. Someone said “love diminishes with time, as it will surely end” Surely love can last for a lifetime, but it can also end someday. There would be signs that you or your part is slowly falling out of love.
This goes out especially to the guys, sometimes the fact that you are the man makes you want to rule over your partner, this could hurt you if your partner does not play the obedient dog.
There should be discussions on decisions that affect the relationship so as to avoid conflict.
5. RE-LIVING THE PAST
Sometimes there are bad moments in relationships that are better forgotten than remembered. Moments like, harsh quarrels, cheating, etc When you get your partner cheating and you probably forgive him/her, it will be very hurtful for you if you would not forget this event. You have forgiven and the other might have even forgotten about it, but you just decide to hold on to it, it would be you hurting your self with the past. So it is very important to learn to forgive and forget wrongs while in love.
6. LISTENING TO GOSSIPS AND OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINION
This one is a very tough one to handle, most relationships have fallen apart because the guy or the lady had special advisers. Also, people will say things about your partner, even go to the extent of discouraging you from continuing with him/her. I’ve heard friends advise me on relationships, saying things like your partner is not pretty enough, he/she does not speak good English, he/she is not smart enough, he/she has a bad record and all that.
If you hear something about your partner it’s better you discuss it together rather than keeping it to your self and making it order your actions. Could take you down to depression and slowly lead to a breakup, then you end up blaming yourself for the crash of something promising.
The mentality of “to whom much is given, much is also expected” should be ruled out in relationships, as all fingers are not equal. And also there is no future in the past so you should learn to shut it out to make sure your relationship is enjoyable for you and your partner.
Embrace healthy relationships and unconditional love. You would be happier.