It’s not a new thing that “actions speak louder than words” even in a relationship. And it’s true to some extent. Don’t be so deceived that words do not really matter. There is a lot of value in effective-communication in a relationship; the joy you get when the person you love gets in touch with you, not only that but based on what they say to you is a cool propeller on its own. Whatever he says to you can be good or bad which intends to have an effect on the relationship later on. And you don’t want that. You don’t want to be affected by any of your partner’s behavior. And that’s why you need to pay attention to everything he tells you.
If your partner is the type who says these things to you, then you should be afraid. It’s a sign that he is just taking you for granted and maybe it’s the best to quit and leave. You need to be with someone who uplifts your spirit with his words, not someone who brings you down with them. I’ve listed some things that you should not accept from a man:
1. “You are so dramatic… “
A good man shouldn’t be making you feel so invalid with your emotions. It’s normal for her to react to a stressful situation and shouldn’t come with you pulling her down with your words “…being so dramatic?”. Instead of saying these ash words, he should have at least try to calm her down and make her understand the situation on the ground. Just because he thinks you are overreacting to the situation doesn’t give him the right to speak to you in such a manner. You need an understanding man who is going to make you see the reason why to some things not someone who pulls you totally off the track.
2. “If you do love me the way you say, you would…”
It sounds so unharmed at first, but this is a form of emotional blackmailing or manipulation and he shouldn’t be doing that to you. Your man should not be asking you to prove your love because of his selfish desires. Love is not selfish. In the first place, there’s no healthy relationship without trust. And it shouldn’t sound like he didn’t believe you love him from the onset.
3. “You are not even doing better than my ex?”
Why on earth will a man you said you love so much compare you with an ex of his? That’s completely unnecessary, out of bounds and it’s so hurting. You should never tolerate this no matter what. He is just making you feel bad; comparing you with his past is the worst thing to do in any relationship. This is a sign that the relationship is not healthy at all. If he is going to castigate you, he should do it in a constructive way. Loving you for who you are is one of the criteria to consider before dating anyone.
4. “Can you just shut up?”
It’s always the freedom of expression; you should be allowed to express your feelings. If any man tells you to shut up, he is not worthy to be in a relationship with you. He literarily sounds like an abusive and immature man and you shouldn’t be with that type of man. You need to run before he starts to hit you.
5. “Why are you so stupid, dummy?”
Even when you show him your flaws, he has no power to call you stupid because you both are in a relationship. What’s a relationship without flaws? How do you intend to know more about each other? Not possible, so if your woman is openly showing you her flops, she definitely wants you to understand her and not to call her names. You definitely won’t want to be with a man who won’t tolerate you.
6. “Maybe should just stay in the house where you belong.”
You don’t want to be with a man who treats you like a rag and locks you up in his chamber. This kind of man won’t let you fulfill your ambition, they are greedily let alone to their own plans. He shouldn’t pull you down from going after what you want, he should be supportive instead of antagonizing you. He should not be limiting your opportunities. You shouldn’t settle for this kind of man because he’s going to chew up your dreams and enclose you.