There have been so many posts and articles on how to love someone, but I realized how complex those articles are, and I must say most people get tired in the process because there is so much to-do list and they tend to get choked up in the process. But in this article, I have decided to make it simple and easy.
So, let’s get on the ride. Loving someone can be so romantic, exciting and as well as painful. How do you mean by painful? The fact that you love someone so deeply and you do not get to be loved in return is as painful as it sounds, the fact that you couldn’t be with the person you love and that loves you back is another storm in a teacup, the fact that the person you love cheated on you is also a painful one and even more. Having said in the previous post that “the world of love is complex”. And you need to be careful to get the better side of it if not, continual hurt and pains are inevitable.
THE QUESTION IS HOW DO I LOVE SOMEONE AND DO NOT GET HURT?
Everything rallies round about these six facts;
1. Find out if he or she feels the same way
2. Check if you can tolerate him or her
3. Ask yourself “am I ready to take care of someone?”
4. What if? Can I forgive and forget?
5. Don’t invest more than what you can’t lose
6. Can I marry him or her?
1. FIND OUT IF HE OR SHE FEELS THE SAME
Before the way you feel get out of hand, you must find out if he or she feels the same way so that you won’t get hurt so badly. What am I saying in essence? Get to know if they will love you back when he or she finds out how you feel. It wouldn’t be of any good to fall in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way or wants you at all. You need to differentiate brotherly liking from loving someone like a man and woman. Don’t misinterpret kindness for love, you don’t assume someone loves you because of the way they behave towards you. I hope that sounds simple enough.
2. CHECK IF YOU CAN TOLERATE HIM OR HER
We are humans, and we tend to have flaws and imperfections. It is equally possible to love someone and not for who they are. You need to ask yourself if you can tolerate their vulnerable side which obviously everyone has, you need to be able to accept him or her with his or her imperfection. Loving someone goes even deeper than it sounds.
3. ASK YOURSELF “AM I READY TO TAKE CARE OF SOMEONE?”
The truth is, loving someone includes that you care so much about him or her, you don’t just care about yourself alone. You should also know the proper way to check balance the of care for yourself and that person. You shouldn’t love someone more than yourself, else you might get dumped eventually. But this is not our jurisdiction right now. Get ready to care for the person you love after which they have accepted you and your love.
4. WHAT IF? CAN I FORGIVE AND FORGET?
Loving someone means you don’t hold back anything when he or she is concerned. You must be ready to forgive no matter what they will do in the future. You also need to learn to forget in the sense that you avoid the use of past cards; avoid mentioning of past mistakes in the present. More also, no matter how their past might be when you find out, you must forgive and forget if you want him or her forever.
5. DON’T INVEST MORE THAN WHAT YOU CAN NOT LOSE
No one is perfect, we are prone to mistakes. And the bitter truth is that nothing is certain. Invest in the relationship and don’t expect much in the process when you are able to get into a relationship with him or her. Don’t give what you are not ready to lose, because it’s so risky emotionally and also in health-wise. Anything can happen but we always hope for the best. He or she might desert you, anything might happen.
Having the mind that anything might happen does not mean you should start to withhold yourself from feeling the right way you want, feel free to express yourself, you never can tell if the relationship will land you joy, peace, and happiness. You might be dealing with your soul mate as well. Always remember that whatever you pass through because of true love are processes that are making you a better husband or wife to be. When you find the right person, he or she will never leave you.
6. CAN I MARRY HIM OR HER?
Don’t ever try to love someone you can not marry. You might end up hurting someone forever, you might end up giving someone a forever pain. When you want to fall in love, love someone you can eventually make your wife or husband. As anything aside this is lust; when you love someone who you do not want to marry might be a result of wanting something badly from that person. Always remember, that you might end up reaping what you sow. Love and abstain from lust.