When it gets to relationships today, many people take love for being attached to another person. But, the difference between those two is like two parallel lines.
You can sincerely love someone without being attached to him/her. But, sometimes love can drive to attachment and those mixed feelings can become so confusing and frustrating.
First of all, you should understand that true love will never make you feel uneasy and depressed. That right kind of love, pure and true love feels so easy and it makes you feel good all the time whenever you remember that there is someone out there who loves you dearly.
True love is hard to find, but once you do, you’ll never let it go.Unknown
That’s why it’s so easy to confuse attachment for love. It also makes you feel good because your other half is fulfilling all your needs, but you’ll see that it’s not going to last.
How can you know if you feel true love or you are just attached to your partner?
7 Major Differences Between True Love And Attachment
1. Love is unconditional, attachment is all about conditions
A person who sincerely loves you will always love you the same, no matter what happens. They will never disappear, no matter how tough the situation is.
True love is embracing someone without anticipating anything in return. It’s when you love someone without any constraints and limits.
When you admit someone for who they are, you’ll even fall in love with their flaws.
Well, it’s the only route love should feel. While on the other round, attachment is quite the opposite. You set many limits for your partner. You’ll have conditions they need to trend.
You begin tracking them on social media because you do not want them to interact with other people and you start picking the set of people they can hang out with and they cannot hang out with.
In the end, your relationship becomes toxic with so many boundaries and limitations.
2. Love is selfless, attachment is selfish
When you truly love someone, you’ll do anything it takes to make that person happy because their happiness is more valuable to you than your own. Their needs and well-being become the top priority.
When you’re attached to someone, however, everything revolves around you. You become dependent on your partner. And you’re in the relationship just to meet your own needs.
3. Love helps you grow, the attachment won’t encourage your personal development
When someone sincerely loves you, they’ll assist you in everything you do. They’ll become a source of inspiration for you to follow your dreams. They’ll continually make you work on yourself to become the best version of yourself.
Being attached to someone makes you feel scared of that person’s growth. You’re scared that it can make them rethink your relationship and that they might neglect you.
4. Love is never-ending, attachment is temporary
True love is like forever. The right person makes you feel so good and all you can think about is wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person who truly loves you.
Though you fight from time to time or ups and downs surface, you understand that nothing can pull the relationship down.
On the other hand, when we get emotionally attached to someone, it happens too easily and swiftly, and that’s why it can’t last. You become bored with that relationship, and the feeling of attachment can dive into a thin air.
5. Love makes you a better person, attachment makes you shallow
When you fall in love with someone, you’ll become more understanding, gentle, and thoughtful. It’ll have a positive effect on your life as a whole.
You’ll have a more optimistic perspective. It’ll also motivate and inspire you to work on yourself more than ever.
On the other hand, you get attached to someone because of what you have to gain from the relationship indirectly or directly. It’s all about what your partner can do for you; you don’t care about their needs and conveniences at all. The whole thing is very shallow and it’s going to really hit the relationship hard in the future.
6. Love accepts you the way you are, attachment tries to change you
A person who totally loves you will love you just the way you are and they love that. They will accept all your flaws and love you even more. They will never try to change any part of you.
When you’re just emotionally attached to someone, you’ll try to change all the parts of them that you dislike.
You’ll try to change them in a way that will make you happy, because in the end, you being happy is all that matters. That’s pure selfishness and not selflessness.
7. Love is about making compromises, attachment is always putting your needs first
When you are in love with someone, you’ll learn to make compromises. It’s the foundation of every healthy relationship. You’ll see the need to bend some of your ” I will never do that”.
You want to make your partner happy and that means that you’ll have to put your pride aside and put your partner’s needs before that of your own. And that’s all that matters because your partner is happy in the end. True love is all about sacrifice.
On the other side of the coin, if you’re just emotionally attached to someone, you want to control him or her and that’s why you’re never prepared to find the middle ground on anything.
Being emotionally attached to someone can fill the void in your life, but it can never make you truly happy for so long.
However, love is that one thing that makes your life more enjoyable in every possible way.