With so much exposure and access to dating apps such as Tinder, Match.com, Plentyoffish, etc., I think it is all too easy for us singles to forget the bigger picture. What is that, you ask?Well, after that date that you thought went well that apparently didn’t go well since you never got asked out on a 2nd one….or the moment you start going on a few dates with someone you like and realize he could be playing mind-games that you just have no patience for anymore…. or, the moment you realize that an old roommate that said she would never get married is now married with a baby and you currently have no prospects…
Basically, it’s moments like these, moments in which we are flustered with questions and frustrated with not meeting life’s supposed “milestones,” that are absolutely crucial in recalling the “bigger picture” I speak of which is:Remembering the immeasurable value of knowing yourself and your inherent worth… & remembering how much an idiot you are for even forgetting this and letting your mom and sisters’ comment of, “There must be something that you are doing wrong,” not get to you.But, also being reminded that solitude itself is a gift. I mean, there are all relationships that we were so sure of and now we look back with the thought, “What the f*** was I thinking?” Knowing what you want, what you will and will not tolerate, and what you need is something that not everybody gets the time of figuring out. We should be thankful for this time with ourselves.Lastly, remembering the present moment. Remembering that all of life is a journey. When we are married with screaming children, we are going to look back on this time in our lives and think,“Those were the good ol’ days when I could drink a martini & read a book with solid sleep.” The bottom line: Enjoy today. It is a gift that we will one day look back on and reminisce upon. Embrace the faces you meet throughout your daily life and culture a genuine interest in life in general, not just romance.
So here are some of my favorite quotes that I have collected over the years that help me stay grounded in what I know which is: the beauty of being by myself, doing what I want to do when I want to do it & the value in patience/not settling after a shitty date.
1. “How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than create it herself?” -Anais Nin
2. “We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”- Hunter S. Thompson
3. “If you wait for a cake to be given to you so you will be happy- then you will be happy when someone gives you a cake. But if you buy a cake (or bake one) for yourself so you will be happy, you have found the way of happiness.” – C. Joybell C.
4. “Don’t ask for guarantees. And don’t look to be saved in any one thing, person, machine, or library. Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore.” ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
5. “A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.” – English Proverb
6. “You need to be buried deep in the dirt before you can find your bloom.” – Roz Inga
7. “What makes night within us may leave stars.” – Victor Hugo
8. “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
9. “The truly faithless one is the one who makes love to only a fraction of you. And denies the rest.” -Anais Nin
10. “One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
11. “Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
12. “Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.” – Walt Whitman
13. “Things usually make sense in time, and even bad decisions have their own kind of correctness.” – Miranda July
14. “Not all those who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
15. “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”― Rainer Maria Rilke
16. “In chaos, there is fertility.” – Anais Nin
17. “The mind is what the mind is fed.” – David Schwartz
18. “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” – Guillaume Apollinaire
19. “If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” -Frank Zappa
20. “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” – Mark Twain
21. “Love all, trust few, do wrong to none.” – William Shakespeare
22. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
23. “Ne te quaesisveris extra.” (Do not seek things outside of yourself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
24. “As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are. Otherwise you will most of your life.” – Buddha
25. “Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh never mind, you will never understand the power and the beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.” – Mary Schmich
26. “Don’t be reckless with other peoples’ hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours” – Mary Schmich
27. “A good traveler has no fixed plans is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu
28. “Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual; you have an obligation to be one. You cannot make any contribution in life unless you do this.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
29. “Do not look for a sanctuary in anyone except yourself.” – Buddha
30. “The best way to find yourself is in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi
31. “Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us.” – Pablo Neruda
32. “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of use are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.” Henry David Thoreau
33. “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” – C.S Lewis
34. “Don’t think about making life better for other people who don’t even deserve you, rather, focus on making your life the best, for yourself and those who love you.” – C. Joybell C.
35. “Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
36. “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘ I love you’… There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked man offers you a shirt.” – Maya Angelou
37. “You can search throoughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
38. “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” -Martha Washington
39. “Beauty is not in the face’ beauty is a light in the heart.” – Kahlil Gibran
40. “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” Eleanor Roosevelt
41. “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.” – Candace Bushnell
42. “I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.”― Paulo Coelho,
43. “The best foundation for relationships to grow, flourish, and succeed is a deep-rooted friendship.”― Jonathan Anthony Burkett
44. “Happy girls are the prettiest.” – Audrey Hepburn
45. “There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”― Steve Maraboli
46. “If Cinderella were given a single shining epiphany (instead of a fairy godmother), she would have realized: “This is my father’s house. This is my father’s estate. I am the rightful heiress to everything here!” then she would have said: “Get off of my property, take nothing with you, and never show your faces to me again! You ugly, bitter, insecure, envious witches!” And I’m sure she would have been happier, sooner!” – C. Joybell C.
47. “Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.”― Valery Satterwhite
48. “I am never alone wherever I am. The air itself supplies me with a century of love. When I breathe in, I am breathing in the laughter, tears, victories, passions, thoughts, memories, existence, joys, moments, and the hues of the sunlight on many tones of skin; I am breathing in the same air that was exhaled by many before me. The air that bore them life. And so how can I ever say that I am alone?” – C. Joybell C.
49. “I consider myself a stained-glass window. And this is how I live my life. Closing no doors and covering no windows; I am the multi-colored glass with light filtering through me, in many different shades. Allowing light to shed and fall into many many hues. My job is not to direct anything, but only to filter into many colors. My answer is destiny and my guide is joy. And there you have me.”― C. JoyBell C.
50. “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” – Max Ehrmann
By Jacqueline Denton