I had one habit that nearly ended my relationship. The time everything starts to go well and smooth and could be so real, but I kept on getting these weird feelings to keep a distance from this individual. I managed to scope myself that this is just a mere test for them to pass, probably by closing up the whole gap or just letting me go forever. The truth is that it was all outside my will, I wasn’t doing them consciously. It was almost innate. I guess it was a reaction to getting serious in the relationship. It took a lot of time to find out what I was really d ping in the relationship and where those energies were coming from. But in the end, it was just the trust issues I was battling for a long time now. I strive so hard to find out if at all the people I’m actually with really care about me or what I am. I am so concerned about the commitment of them if at all they are truly committed to being in a relationship with me. I’m not really like that but I needed to be sure and you can also call it self-protection and preservation that was enforced upon me. It was an act that I learned subconsciously because of those experiences that I’ve gone through in my gentle life. Being abused, betrayed, and let me say manipulated so many times by the same set of people that I loved and are said to be in love with me, those who were really close to my heart. It wasn’t really funny at first but I managed to break through the ordeal and make it out the entire experience. Moreover, I didn’t overcome these ordeal experiences undamaged. I am battling with emotional and psychological effects that had impacted negatively on me. After all that I had being through, it is quite not easy to trust anyone around me but just myself. I was traumatized and lost my sense of confidence to a very great extreme. But I realized that I wasn’t the only one in this shoe, I couldn’t be the only one going through such circumstances. So, I did a little digging and digging so that I can successfully get myself out of the hole. “When we internalize what someone else says and take it on as our truth, that can impact how we make decisions in relationships moving forward if we’re not solid on what we believe,” says Diana Dorell, a dating coach, and author. These traumatic experiences can indeed impact the way people move into their future relationships, affirms Dr. Gary Brown, a famed relationship therapist, an expert. “Words have meaning and when a former lover said things that were truly hurtful whether true or not — their words can damage our ability to trust in the next relationship,” he goes on to say. If a lot of the things actually mentioned here strike a chord with you, then it’s possible that you are someone who is battling with a lot of trust issues in your own life at the moment. Are you wondering whether your ex has actually played a role in contributing to the trust issues that you have? Well, experts have affirmed that if your ex has said some of the following things that are listed on here, it’s very much sure that you have trust issues because of what they had said or done to you.
1. “The statement: You can trust me.”
And you ended up trusting this statement and you ended up screwed. You believed in these individual words and relied so much on them to protect and take good care of you. You trusted them with the whole of your heart but ended up falling short.
2. “You are so emotionally damaged.”
Maybe you are emotionally damaged or maybe it doesn’t matter. The fact that you have this belief that you are emotionally screwed has set in so much doubt in yourself. In the end you lose trust in yourself to have valid emotional reactions towards things.
3. “You’re don’t do well in the bed.”
It will surely damage the self-esteem when you are being made to believe your performances are very bad in the bed. This is why it can be so difficult to trust another person in the bedroom when you’ve even lost the trust in yourself towards fulfilling their needs.
4. “You caused the problem…”
And the truth is that self-trust is at stake when someone makes you believe that you are the cause of a problem. Which tends to affect the confidence and the ability to make the right decisions.
5. Keeping mute all the time.
It’s not a new thing that words are very powerful and can be very hurting at times but the truth is that what hurts most is when there no words at all.