Someone once said and I quoted”Women are obsessed with marriage while men are obsessed with sex”.
Marriage like everyone would say it’s a legal union between a man and a woman to become one, even kids know this definition. But in real life, marriage is even more than that. I usually tell people that it’s an institution that a person never graduates from. You keep on learning day by day.
There are many marriages that have been broken today because of one thing or the other especially the unsaid things.
Before stepping into the shoe of marriage, there are some things you and your partner need to sit down and talk about, some are basic while some add up. But today, I am going to quickly explain the essential things that cannot be swept under the carpet before going into a marriage.
1. Your Past
Many people tend to wave this particular stone in the fear of losing their partner so they hide it. Well, let me tell you hiding it destroys your marriage afterward. Your past doesn’t define who you are anymore, you need to come out clean to your partner in order for him/her to even understand you. If your partner is not aware of your past and eventually finds out from a stranger, things will go bad.
For example, Jack, do you know your wife to be had several abortions in my aunt’s hospital or Jane, do you know your husband to be was a pedophile? If this happens after marriage, the trust will be destroyed with no lacuna of repair.
These things hurt deeper when heard from outsiders, it’s better if you confront your partner and explain things to them and assure them that it was all in the past and it’s no longer a part of you. This helps a lot to save your marriage because your partner will be at your defense if anyone tries to use it against you in the future. You can not risk the fact that your partner cannot ever get to hear about it. Don’t forget that we live in a small word.
2. Who You Really Are
It’s fine to be a proud person, naughty, playful, calm, temperamental, or even someone who loves full concentration like my fiance. Just let your partner know exactly what you are. Let them know you for you and not the fake you to entice them. Do not pretend to be who you are not in order to suit your partner’s taste. You guys should talk about your likes and dislikes, things that make you truly happy and unhappy, what you love to use your free period for. Let your partner know if you are an outing type or the indoor type.
All these things are important because once you are married it won’t be easy to change how you guys have been coming up if you were pretending when you were dating. It’s like cheating someone when you are showing your partner what you didn’t portray. Showing your real color when married to your partner after marriage will destroy a lot of things which includes the marriage that you wanted so badly, the trust you’ve built with your fake self.
3. What You Want In The Marriage
Why getting married in the first place?
I know we shouldn’t be expecting anything in return for your marriage but let’s be realistic here. You and your partner want something in return. Some of those things you want.
As a man you need to tell her what you want;
1. Is it a full housewife?
You need to tell her before marriage and make sure she agrees so there won’t be conflict in the home.
2. Is it a working-class?
You need to let her know in case she is a lazy type so she can quickly address that.
3. How many kids you want and when you want them to come up.
I know of a couple who fought because the wife got pregnant 3 months after marriage. The man was upset asking her why she let the baby come in now that he wanted babies only two years after his marriage. This case took 8 months to get resolved. Why? Because they never discussed it.
4. A great cook.
It’s normal that most men want a great cook but they want it more than one another. Let her know that after marriage you don’t want to eat outside again. It’s just her food you want to eat.
5. A sex champion.
Someone who won’t say no when you call for sex.
6. A God-fearing woman who can always pray for you and your success.
This part is important because behind a successful man there is a praying wife.
As a woman tell him what you want in the marriage
1. A caring man with helping hands
2. A man who will let you handle the home
3. A man who will fulfill your sexual desires
4. A Godfearing man and lots More.
These things look little but are very important. Many ladies get married to be fulfilled socially, sexually, and even materially and many men tend to get married to get their sexual desire, food craving, and someone he could beckon on. But if you refuse to talk about these little things marriage might fail. Well, I just listed some points here but I hope you learn from it. Marriage might look sweet from the outer part but it a little bit different inside because you have to read the pages of the book back to back still you don’t graduate from the institution. Only one person can help it work and that is God.