Since there are different kinds of love, there are of course different kinds of lovers.
The Greeks had the perfect example for every kind of love because of course love cannot be interpreted with only one particular feeling.
Is it even possible to compare the love you feel for a friend or sister with the love you feel for your lover?
These three kinds of love are completely different and yet have the same value.
Throughout the text I will not go into the Greek types of love (Eros, Philia, Storge-love, Agape-love, Ludus, Pragma, Philautia), but I will concentrate on an even narrower categorization of this feeling.
Although the ancient Greeks long ago made a very simple classification of love types, we will go even deeper into the matter than the Greek philosophers once did.
I will go into the types of people and what kind of lovers they are.
When you meet someone for the first time, it is normal to have an inexplicable urge to want to get to know them.
You date, you spend time together, and slowly a picture of what that person is really like starts to emerge in your mind.
You can interpret many signs by their body language or the way they speak or think, even before you enter into a romantic relationship with them.
Basically, if you observe carefully, you can get an idea of what kind of person you are dealing with.
It is possible to get an indication of whether or not you should enter into a long-term relationship with this person.
What neither of us thinks at the beginning of a relationship – because we are usually too much in love with the person we are falling in love with – is that there is always more to the person than meets the eye.
There is always something deep inside that is not so transparent.
What kind of lovers are they, for example? What is your style of love?
Everyone has heard about the two main types of lovers – a settler and a grab.
In other words, a healthy relationship requires the commitment of two people.
One of these two people can do so much better in partnership, and the other is damn lucky – the Settler is better looking, smarter or more capable, and they settle for someone to reach out to them.
Apart from these two basic types of lovers, there are much more specific types of lovers that you probably haven’t heard about very often.
Not all types of lovers can fit together.
You have giving, taking, controlling, dependent or independent lovers. There are as many types of people as there are lovers.
For example, it is impossible for a controlling partner to be in a happy relationship with someone who is independent and must be free to do what he wants. This relationship is doomed from the beginning.
People look for their partner – someone who fits their needs and psychological profile.
If this controlling person likes to make decisions for both people in the relationship, an independent person will not have that because he or she does not allow anyone to control their life. Even if the sex is good, this relationship will not work.
In the beginning, when the level of intimacy is still purely sexual, it may work, but as the relationship grows, important personality traits that clash will be the reason the relationship ends.
Or simply put, not all types of lovers are compatible.
Although there is something we all tend to forget.
Love comes in all sorts of forms and colors – unconditional love, physical attraction, infatuation, romantic love, practical love, compulsive love… who knows what kind of love can turn out to be the true, true love for each of us on an individual level?
No matter what love can or cannot be, love is different for everyone and it depends on how you interpret it.
What kind of lover you are depends on the mood you’re in…
Essentially there is only one personality trait that dominates each of us, but different moods can cause different shades of other personality traits to blend with the main one.
This interference changes our main trait, so of course the type of lover changes as well.
For example, if you feel a bit down, you will withdraw and will no longer be your usual self.
So even if you are a controlling lover, this side of you will no longer be so controlling when you are depressed.
Or, if you are normally a taker, a good mood can make you a giver in no time. This applies not only to yourself, but also to your partner.
…which leads us to the conclusion that a person can’t just be a lover.
Different circumstances lead to different reactions. This applies to life and to relationships.
The situations we find ourselves in provoke different emotions, so that sometimes we do not react as emotionally as we would normally do.
Not all types of lovers are made to be in certain relationships. Some of them are deadly to the relationship, and some are just perfect.
Ultimately, we are all looking for the perfect guy to be with, but the catch is that not every perfect guy is the same.
Lots of guys, but only one guy dominates
Considering that our emotions determine the way we behave towards others and towards ourselves, we can definitely conclude that every person is a mixture of a little bit of everything, but in the end there is a dominant trait that makes us who we are and that can never make us disappear.
This one dominant trait defines what type of lover someone is; this is how your partner perceives you and how you perceive him.
18 types of lovers
Givers are called givers for two reasons: They feel they’re not good enough, or they’re just the ones who love more.
If they feel that they are not good enough, they try to compensate for what they consider their disadvantages with outbursts of love and attention to their partners.
They do this because they think they are not giving enough, so they give far too much.
Another kind of giving is the one who simply loves more than the other. In the basic concept of a lover, this person is definitely a grabber.
It is their primary instinct to give as much as possible out of pure and selfless love, nothing more.
The participants think so much of themselves. They see themselves as some kind of prize, and the person who is in a relationship with them should feel lucky to have landed someone like them.
Well, this is the wrong approach, but what can you do – most people cannot change.
They think they bring so much to the relationship, and if they didn’t, the relationship would fail before it even started.
The people involved just take emotions and give nothing back, and they feel they don’t need it.
Takers can be closely related to narcissists, who also only take and never give, but if your partner does not have a mental disorder, the diagnosis is simple: he is selfish.
At first you get the feeling that a controller only wants the best for you.
At first it all seems so sweet – these phone calls and checkups – you think he loves you so much and is worried about you, so he needs to know where you are and what you are doing all the time.
After these excessive, everyday checks become routine, they slowly turn into a nightmare.
Your once-loving partner turns into a madly possessive freak show that doesn’t allow you to leave the house without his permission.
What once seemed to be a sweet and innocent love has turned into manipulative and controlling mind games and emotional blackmail.
Their pleasure consists in pleasing their partners. Their love is selfless and unconditional.
The efforts these people are willing to make are incredible. If you want to have a person who supports you in every way, then pleasure is the right person for your emotional needs.
Even if they have none of these, be kind and gentle with them.
Such people deserve all the love you can give because they give you everything they have.
In general, all lovers are similar, but there are almost invisible shades that make the difference.
If you really look closely and analyze a person, you will recognize these small but very important differences.
A selfish lover will always do the things that suit him or her best. He will look for what he can get out of every possible situation.
Even if you think he has done something to make you happy, look again, because there must be something he can win by doing what seems to be a selfless act.
Dating a doubter is a real challenge. They’ll never fully trust you.
Whatever you do, they will always have hints of doubt growing in the dark at the back of their minds.
These suspicions will always bug them and they will never be able to relax.
A doubter feels threatened by everything, and you must constantly prove to him that you love him.
It is a stressful relationship that will fall apart sooner or later because no one has the stamina to live a life of judgment and uncertainty.
Doubt is also associated with jealousy, which arises after a considerable time when one person believes the other is hiding something.
That kind of lover is all talk and nothing more. He promises you the world, but of course, he gives you nothing. That kind of person is called an actor for a reason.
Because he is very conscious of who he is, he will act as if he were someone else – in this case a loving and caring partner.
Most of the time he just pretends to care about you. He always asks you if there is anything he can do to make you happier, but he never does.
An adventurer hates monotony, and his goal is to keep the relationship exciting at all times.
This excitement doesn’t necessarily have to be a good thing.
If he finds that your relationship is sailing peacefully on calm waters, he will start an argument with you just to shake things up a bit. He is always looking for excitement and new things to do.
Usually this is a good thing, especially if you are the adventurous type – except for the arguments he provokes when he is bored.
9. Brooding lovers
This kind of lover gets annoyed with everything in a relationship. He can’t even sweat the little things. He resents the most trivial things all the time.
A brooding lover wants to have time for himself, which is normal in a relationship, but when it comes to him, this time alone and without exceptions is exclusive.
If someone or something disturbs his personal space, he loses his temper and goes up in flames.
10. Materialistic lovers
With a materialistic lover, it’s all about the good life. If he feels comfortable and has everything materialistic he needs, he will not argue with you.
Even if he knows that you do not love him and you are together for another reason, he will not mind as long as he gets the luxury life he is used to.
In other words, a lack of love is not an obstacle for a materialistic lover.
11. Stray lovers
You might as well call them honeymoon lovers. In the first weeks of your relationship or during the honeymoon phase, a stray lover is head over heels in love.
Everything you want, he will give you. You have the feeling that you live in a fairy tale and that he is your Prince Charming.
As time passes and your relationship grows older, he will be colder and more distant than usual.
The initial passion will fade and he will become less and less interested in you.
Slowly he will start looking for someone to impress, and you are doomed to be described as “someone who was fun while it lasted.
A lover like this has a good and a bad side. On the one hand, he is always there to help you.
He wants to sacrifice himself for your benefit. His constant need to help you become a better person is extraordinary.
On the other hand, the bad side comes out. It’s nice that someone sacrifices for you and invests his time in you to help you grow, but a helper will definitely use that against you.
His help is not a selfless act; it is a tool that he can use against you at any time, one with which he manipulates you to do something for him because he has sacrificed himself for you.
13. Possessive lovers
The love of a possessive lover is not questionable. You don’t have to doubt him because he truly loves you with all his heart.
But – and there is always a “but” – his love is possessive. This means that when you are with him, you cannot be with another woman.
He doesn’t trust you, and he believes that everyone around you is trying to seduce you.
You will see a possessive lover fidgeting every time you talk to another person.
He will ask you a million questions about the person you have been talking to, and even if you answer all of them, he still won’t trust you.
14. Loyal partners
A loyal partner does not seek adventure. He is not suspicious of his partner, and he does not try to gain the upper hand in a relationship.
He is loyal to you because he wants to be. He is always behind you because his love is sincere and pure.
A faithful lover has no ulterior motives for loving you.
A lover like him will never seek another, another human being.
He won’t cheat because he has no need to.
Everything he could ever wish for, he has found in you.
15. Passionate lovers
Sexual chemistry is the most important thing for this type of lover. In his world, sex comes first.
So if there’s something wrong in the bedroom, logically, he’ll probably leave.
The sexual appetite of a passionate lover is quite big, but his performance is worth mentioning.
There is no stopping until you are completely satisfied.
Passionate lovers can hide their inadequacies in other aspects of the relationship with their sexual prowess and insatiable sex drive.
If you are not into romantic things, stay away from these types of men because you will not be able to cope with the overly romantic journey that awaits you.
If you love being wooed and swept off your feet, you need such a man.
He will make every moment you both have together unforgettable, and there is no chance that he will forget any date that is important in your relationship.
A compromiser is loose and actually the most grateful romantic partner.
If you are hot-headed and like to do things your way, you need a compromiser in your life.
He will almost always tolerate your demands or in the worst case he will find the solution that suits both of you.
The reason why he turns a blind eye most of the time is that he hates conflicts and wants to avoid a fight at all costs.
An enthusiast is about new experiences in a relationship. He wants to go to places he hasn’t been before and do things he has never done before.
Sometimes he doesn’t even stop to think before he does something that may cause minor problems, but nothing that he can’t handle or deal with.
So there we have it, all kinds of lovers out there. Which one is yours? Or which one are you?